How to get a first date right: our practical tips

A successful first date begins a few days beforehand. There is no need for a script: a few simple choices are enough to arrive relaxed.

• Suggest something short. A coffee, an early evening drink or a walk. An hour or two leaves you wanting to meet again, with no pressure if the spark is not there.
• Choose a place you know. Somewhere quiet, where you can hear each other and feel at ease. Avoid places that are too noisy or too formal for a first meeting.
• Confirm the day before. A short message about the time and place shows that the date matters to you.
• Reread your conversations. Remember what the other person told you: their job, a passion, a trip. These make your best questions.

Arrive on time, in clothes you feel good in. Elegance has more to do with ease than with the outfit itself.

• Put your phone away. Tucked away and on silent, it tells the other person they have your full attention.
• Listen as much as you talk. Open questions ("What brought you to Lausanne?") work better than an interrogation.
• Keep to light topics at first. Past relationships, politics or money can wait until trust has been established.
• Be honest. There is no point embellishing your life: the person across the table wants to get to know you as you are.

There is no single rule in French-speaking Switzerland. The simplest approach: whoever suggested the date offers to pay, and the other can buy the next round. If you would rather split it, say so naturally when the bill arrives. What matters is that nobody feels indebted.

The vast majority of dates go very well. Even so, a few habits help you stay free to make your own choices from start to finish.

• Meet in a public place, somewhere busy, and not at either person's home.
• Tell someone close to you where you are going, who with, and what time you expect to be back.
• Get there and back under your own steam. That way you decide when the evening ends.
• Keep an eye on your drink and your belongings.
• Be discreet with your personal information: address, exact workplace, financial situation. Fribourg Cantonal Police advise staying as anonymous as possible and never sending a photo or video you would not want to see shared.
• Trust your instincts. If you have doubts about the person, do not accept the date, or postpone it. Once there, you can leave at any time, without explaining yourself. As the Geneva police point out: never trust someone you only know from the internet.

If you are in danger, call the police on 117. For a medical emergency, dial 144.

Some behaviour, before or after the meeting, calls for caution. According to Swiss Crime Prevention, be wary of someone who talks about true love before they have even met you, who keeps postponing your meeting because of something unexpected, or who ends up asking you for money. In that last case, cut off contact immediately. Fribourg Cantonal Police also advise insisting on meeting the person and never sending money to someone you do not know personally.

To find out more, read our guide Avoiding romance scams.

If you enjoyed the time together, say so. A simple, sincere message that evening or the next day is enough. There is no need to wait three days as a tactic.

If you do not want to take things further, reply courteously rather than disappearing. A clear, kind sentence respects everyone's time.

And if you both want to meet again, think about a slightly longer second date: a walk by the lake, a dinner, or even a short getaway. Our ideas are in the guide Romantic weekends in Switzerland, and our recommendations for dinner for two in Romantic restaurants in Lausanne.