Avoiding romance scams: warning signs and what to do in Switzerland

A romance scam is a fraud that exploits the wish to meet someone. According to Swiss Crime Prevention (SCP), it usually starts with a contact request online, on a social network or a dating site. For weeks, sometimes several months, the scammer builds a relationship of trust. Then comes the request for money.

The SCP points out that these scammers usually operate professionally and from abroad. Some handle several victims at once. Artificial intelligence now helps them write convincingly in your language, and the Federal Office for Cybersecurity (FOCS) has observed AI-generated images being used to back up their stories, for example a photo of the person in a hospital bed.

The SCP brochure "Grand amour ou grosse arnaque ?" (True love or big scam?) describes a pattern that repeats itself:

• An attractive profile, often with photos stolen from elsewhere on the internet, and a flattering situation, such as a senior executive abroad or a soldier on a mission.
• A very quick declaration. The person says they have fallen in love surprisingly fast and showers you with tender words.
• A move off the platform, to WhatsApp or another messaging app, to talk more often and more intimately.
• A meeting that keeps being postponed by something unexpected: illness, an accident, a mugging at the airport.
• A request for money, via a transfer service or to an account abroad, then another, then another.
• Pressure when you hesitate ("If you really loved me…"), sometimes going as far as blackmail with intimate photos: sextortion.

A single one of these signs proves nothing. Several together should make you step back:

• the person talks about true love before they have even met you;
• they avoid video calls or always find a reason not to turn their camera on;
• they live far away, have a very enviable life and no connection with anyone you know;
• their photos appear elsewhere on the internet under another name;
• they ask you for money, gift cards, a phone, or to receive a parcel for them;
• they ask you to receive money into your account to transfer it to someone else.

This last point is serious: the SCP points out that making your bank account available to others can make you liable to prosecution yourself for money laundering.

• No money for someone you met online. This is the rule hammered home by the campaign "L'amour, le vrai, ne coûte rien" (Real love costs nothing), run by the SCP with the cantonal and municipal police forces: "No money for people you have met on the internet". The FOCS puts it this way: never send money or goods to people you have never met.
• Insist on meeting in person, as Fribourg Cantonal Police advise. A video call is a useful first step.
• Check the photos with a reverse image search. If the same photo is circulating under another name, it is almost certainly a scam.
• Be discreet about your address, your employer and your financial situation.
• Never send an intimate photo or video that you would not want to see shared.
• Talk to someone close to you. An outside view often sees what feelings hide.

Bear in mind that anything can be faked on the internet: complete profiles, official documents, passport copies, supporting documents.

You have no reason to feel ashamed: these scammers are professional manipulators. Here are the steps recommended by the SCP, the FOCS and Fribourg Cantonal Police.

1. Stop all payments and stop sending goods immediately, even if you are promised it will be the last time.
2. Keep all your exchanges: messages, email addresses, phone numbers, profile name, receipts and bank details of the transfers.
3. File a complaint with your cantonal or municipal police. As the Fribourg police point out, the police are not there to judge you, but to help you. The Suisse ePolice website helps you find the nearest police station. Your complaint may also stop others from falling into the same trap.
4. Cut off contact for good and block the person on all your channels, even if they apologise or admit to part of what happened.
5. Report the profile to the site or app where you met.
6. Talk to someone you trust, and seek psychological support if the situation weighs on you. If you are in financial difficulty, your canton's debt advice service can help you.

You can also report the case to the FOCS using its online form. This report helps it monitor the phenomenon, but it does not replace a complaint: the FOCS cannot register a criminal complaint. In an emergency or if you are threatened, call the police on 117.

After a first scam, victims are often contacted by a so-called lawyer, a foreign "authority" or even "Interpol", claiming to have found the money and demanding fees to return it. The SCP is clear: do not engage. The FOCS also reports scammers who announce the death of the person, complete with a photo of a grave, then ask for "refund" fees. It is the same scam, in another form.

It is hard to see a relationship you care about for what it is. The SCP advises showing the person the information from the police or Swiss Crime Prevention, then offering to go with them to the police station to file a complaint. If they refuse and start getting into debt to meet the demands, you can contact your canton's adult protection authority.

The brochure "Grand amour ou grosse arnaque ?" can be ordered free of charge from your municipal or cantonal police, and it is available online at skppsc.ch.